BINTM – the secret phone calls part 2

So, last week, we got our hands on a very interesting secret phone call between Elle McPherson of BINTM (that’s Britain and Ireland’s Next Top Model) and Tyra Banks of ANTM (America’s Next Top Model) – you can read that here.

Last night’s episode saw three girls go, and reality TV star Whitney Port showed herself up to be the harshest, coldest bitch I’ve seen on TV in a while! Ouch, that girl was nasty! And look at her cold, dead eyes in this picture, below (she’s on the far right!) And one of the eliminated girls, Anna Volkes, thought so too, according to this interview

This week, amazingly, we’ve got our hands on ANOTHER secret Top Model phone conversation*. It went something like this…
Tyra: McPherson, is that you? I need to discuss episode two…

Elle: Oh, hi Tyr…

(there’s a loud noise, like the phone falling)

A new voice: Tyra, HEY! it’s Whitney. Everything cool?

Tyra: Whitney, baby. Where’s that McPherson gone? Slacking again, eh? bloody Aussie

(there’s a loud door slamming shut, and a key turning)

Whitney: Oh. What. Yes. GOd, like, she’s TOTALLY lazy. She just threw the phone at me and told me I had to speak. I mean, whatever! She’s probably off to ‘throw another shrimp on the Barbie’ or whatever it is they do. Not that she eats any of it, hell no.

Tyra: Well, she is ‘The Body’ after all

There then follows a minute or so filled with both women shrieking with laughter.

Tyra: Anyway, how did it go? Episode two and you got rid of three girls. The three you all wanted?

Whitney: Well, you know how it is, Elle’s so indecisive. I just had to tell it how it is, and pick the three to go. Hell, I could have thrown about six out! Oh, yeah, and then that Millie went too. But we can’t talk about that.

Tyra: Ah yeah. ANYWAY! The three that went – good choices girl. Funny little thing with blonde hair, one of them didn’t even look like a model and the one with the black hair? How did she get through the net. Tighten things up, Ms Whitney. Oh, and did she touch them at elimination?

Whitney: You’ve got to be kidding me?! It was all I could do to get her to hug the girls who made it to the house. Not that I went near them either. I don’t think that’s in my contract though, is it?

Tyra: What, mmm, no, I think you have a no-touch clause in there, don’t worry. Oh, yeah, and Whitney…what’s that voice I keep hearing doing a narrative? Who the hell is that, and why?! Can we find out please?

Whitney: Absolutely Tyra, some blonde chick from the radio I believe.

Tyra: Do you think she has a face for it?!

There’s then just lots of loud, shrieking laughter, then some banging on the door and muffled shouts of ‘Whitney, let me in’ before the tape cut off…

Until next time! BINTM, Mondays, 9pm, Sky Living

*Obviously, we haven’t really been listening to any phone calls between Elle McPherson, Tyra Banks, Whitney Port or anyone else, and this transcript is just a wonderful work of fiction…


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